|By Stella Figuera, Astrologer to the Quads
March 21–April 19
the sign of the Ram, you are energetic, original, pioneering, and
innovative. All that’s keeping you from a Nobel Prize is a group
of grumpy old men in Sweden.
April 20–May 20
persistent, enduring, stable, and stubborn, those born under the
sign of the Bull truly believe that Michael Jordan will still be
the NBA’s MVP in 1999. Gemini May 21–June 21 Born under the sign
of the Twins, you are flexible, versatile, and agile. That’s how
your friends see you. Your enemies think you’re out to destroy the
June 22–July 22
and moody, security-conscious and prudent, you are born under the
sign of the Crab. Although you often disagree with others’ opinions,
you seldom speak up in lectures or classrooms. You do write letters
to the editor.
July 23–August 22
Like all those
born under the sign of the Lion, you love the limelight, are competitive
and speculative, an organizer and an extrovert. You wear interview
suits and hang out in Rosenwald and Stuart Halls.
August 23–September 22
the sign of the Virgin, you are logical, analytical, highly discriminating,
critical, perfectionistic, and introverted. You’re the archetypal
U of C student, professor, or staffer. Get a life.
September 23–October 23
a peacemaker, gracious, kind, fair-minded, and courteous, if you’re
born under the sign of the Scales, you naturally gravitate to the
helping professions—no, not the Law School, the SSA.
October 24–November 22
bold, and secretive, those born under the sign of the Scorpion are
drawn to investigations and research. You are reluctant to share
your results before publication.
November 23–December 21
casual, and restless, those born under the sign of the Archer love
to travel. If you’re a professor, you attend lots of conferences.
If you’re a College student, you may not graduate on time.
December 22–January 19
methodical, thrifty, responsible, and rigid, those born under the
sign of the Goat have the makings of a mid-level University administrator.
January 20–February 18
unique, independent, visionary, detached, and unpredictable, you’re
born under the sign of the Water Bearer. You really miss the Sixties.
And the Lascivious Costume Ball.
February 19–March 20
You are supersensitive,
impressionable, compassionate, psychic, and peace loving. Born under
the sign of the Fish, you should have gone to Brown.